With a culture so steeped in customs and rituals, it would be impossible to spend 3 months in Japan without committing some embarrassing social infractions. Some of mine have been here in "Shanti Town" (so lovingly coined by Nik for our little compound) but most of them have been quite public. Here's a sampling of my greatest hits.
The first time I took hopper to the onsen (bath house) I was so excited as it's one of my favorite things about Japan. It's part of the only real hotel in the area and directly in front of the gift shop area selling all manner of local products. All was going swimmingly, he enjoyed the different baths and played with the shower sprayer. He was even being charming to some of the other ladies. So when it was time to go (i.e. his little cheeks were all flushed) we went back to our locker and the little stinker took off out of the changing room! I was still wet, and didn't know what to do. It would be HUGELY inappropriate to run out wrapped in a towel which was too small anyway, bloody baby towel, let alone nude. I tried calling him but I could just hear him giggling outside the red curtain, little wet feet stomping the tiles. Meanwhile the guy's naked and dripping wet and I'm frantically trying to dry off and get some clothes on, swearing under my breath with the older ladies snickering behind me. By the time I got some semblance of clothed, an employee of the onsen brought him in with a smirk. He was none too pleased to be handled by a stranger and I was of course somewhat mortified. And lo and behold, while I'm telling him he can't do that and it's naughty, he runs out again. At least the second time Nik had come out and was able to arm lasso him.
(Oh, and I also put my hair in the bath. Just a swished it around, all Calgon Take-Me-Away. Turns out that's a big no no. People think it's disgusting. There have since been cartoon drawings put up of a grossed out bath patron witnessing someone do the dunk.)
On Hopper's and my first adventure in the car, we went to a neighboring town to do some grocery shopping. As we were leaving the parking lot, I noticed a driver coming toward me with a very puzzled look on his face, all straight-backed and jaw agape. I kept wondering why the look, was it my foreign-ness? Was it my hazard lights flashing?... No! It's because I'm driving on the wrong side of the road!!! Holy sh!tsticks! I have done that exactly 3 times. Once for some minutes before I realized what I was doing. Thank god it was night and this town sleeps at about 8 pm so there were no other cars on the road.
Shortly after we settled in, Hopper and I were driving to the bakery (which sells out of everything in the first 30 min they're open) and I noticed a lot of people gathered in front of a house. Everyone has been so welcoming and I was feeling up for a little meet-the-neighbors. And not wanting to miss out on something groovy, I pulled over and grabbed Hopper and we wandered onto the property saying konichiwa and nodding like fools. I suddenly noticed the vibe was a bit off, people weren't greeting us with the usual fanfare, and it didn't appear to be a garage sale or workshop so we quickly got back in the car. I couldn't shake this wierd feeling so I mentioned to Keiko that we stopped in and she laughed with shock then explained to me it was a family gathering. Good god, I crashed some dead man's wake. (And the bakery was sold out.)
A couple weeks ago, Hopper and I went to the zoo. The setting is breathtaking, really it's like no other zoo I've ever been to, completely surrounded by lush green mountains. It's small so you can get around in about an hour or so. We made it to the petting zoo section and I needed to use the facilities and change his diaper. When it came time to flush, there were so many buttons. Japanese toilets can be intimidating, they have multiple functions. So I just picked one and it turned out to be the emergency button. A light starts flashing, a siren goes off and Hopper's shouting "mama mama it's a fire engine!" I'm all flustered trying to figure out how to turn it off so just shoo him out the door but the siren is coming from outside where it's like I pulled the fire alarm. Everyone's looking at us and Hopper starts yelling "what's wrong mama? what's wrong mama?" and pointing excitedly at the light. I see a not-so-amused employee coming over so start bowing in apology, humbled yet again, pointing to myself "Yeah, I did that. That was me. Sorry."
(And this was BEFORE I went into the free-roaming monkey cage with Hopper and the stroller. Since I mistakenly went in the exit door, I didn't see the No Stroller sign and nearly poisoned the little fellas with Hopper's soiled diaper they were desperately tugging at in the bottom basket. Dammit.)
I have another toilet story that is simply too much for public consumption. If you know me and you ask me, I'll tell you. I'm sure I'll probably tell you without prompting anyway. Nothing like a good toilet story.
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| Tokushima Zoo setting |
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| Hopper said "no lion mama" with furtive glances |
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| just such little dipsticks |
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| giraffe came and licked the glass, mama too dumbstruck to get the camera out in time |
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| this she-puss was so pissed the boy cat was out roaming just outside her inclosure, constant low growling |
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| excited about tile pictures in tunnel |
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| aggressive little beasts |
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| but very soft |
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| cheeky monkeys were pulling at everything, had to hightail it outta there |
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| sort of sad little amusement park next door to zoo, nearly deserted, felt a little Scooby Dooish |
